lucesdraconis

The Real World: Avengers Tower

  • Interviewer: So what's it like living with Tony?
  • Bruce: When I moved in, he insisted on funding all of my research. Except, you know, ever since The Incident, all my work's been theoretical. It's not actually that expensive. I've started just spending all the extra on fruit pies, just to see if he was keeping track. He isn't. There are a lot of unused rooms in this building, and at least three of them are stacked floor to ceiling with fruit pies. He hasn't said a word.
  • Natasha: It turned out Pepper and I both speak French. Tony doesn't. Now, whenever he walks in, we just start whispering in French and giggling. Half the time we're just exchanging recipes. He pretends not to be eavesdropping, but the other day I caught him asking JARVIS what 'des oeufs' meant.
  • Clint: I bought this big bag of little plastic flies, right? And whenever he's not paying attention, I throw them into his drink. Half the time he doesn't even notice and just drinks the damn things, but the other half? He starts checking all the house filtration systems, the exterminators, the works. He can't figure out where all these flies are coming from. He's fumigated three times in the last month.
  • Thor: I attempted to provide assistance with a project, but Stark assured me that it was 'very technical', and that I would not understand the intricacies. I can see why he would think so, as I am a mere Prince of Asgard, taught such basic engineering when I was a child and his ancestors could not yet walk. It has been five weeks, and he still has not corrected the misaligned condenser coil causing the problem.
  • Steve: I don't know what Howard taught that kid, but he seems to be under the impression that homosexuality was invented in 2000. He keeps leaving magazines and pictures lying around like the sight of two men holding hands is going to give me a heart attack. I don't have the heart to tell him about the Greeks.
  • Interviewer: So how are things in Avengers Tower?
  • Tony: How are things? I have no idea. I really don't. There's some kind of insect infestation in the vents and I think a spy is trying to seduce my girlfriend into moving to France. I tried to prank Captain America with gay porn, but him and Thor just started trying to reverse-engineer workout routines. The other day I went into one of the spare rooms, and I found some kind of one-armed sex hobo sitting on a throne of empty fruit pie boxes. I just walked out and closed the door. I don't even wanna know.
rangerwarrior123
ale-stuffs:


#this makes me think of like #The Hangover or some shit #like they just wake up in a forest #We fucked up.
  #they lost clint #he’s supposed to be marrying natasha in the morning #but they fucking lost him  
#at one point steve remembers he got married to a stripper #and screams #I MARRIED A HOOKER #and thor looks absolutely offended and yells #HOW DARE YOU SHE’S A NICE LADY


#spoilers: the stripper is loki


SOMEBODY MAKE A FAN FIC. P L E A S E




artist here (x)

ale-stuffs:

#this makes me think of like #The Hangover or some shit #like they just wake up in a forest #We fucked up.

#they lost clint #he’s supposed to be marrying natasha in the morning #but they fucking lost him

#at one point steve remembers he got married to a stripper #and screams #I MARRIED A HOOKER #and thor looks absolutely offended and yells #HOW DARE YOU SHE’S A NICE LADY

#spoilers: the stripper is loki

SOMEBODY MAKE A FAN FIC. P L E A S E

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artist here (x)

thestandardpinenut

the-crystalmage:

seizure7:

teffy:

Okay so I’ve been watching The Avengers way too much lately, like you do.  And I love the scene where Tony is poking Bruce and Cap is being…Cap.  So as I’m watching it I am like ‘Where the hell does Tony get the blueberries from?’ So I watch again and I see it!  The tall black cylinder case thing that says ‘Stark Industries’.  Totally Tony’s snacks.  Cause you know he was like ‘Fuck SHEILD.  They’re not gonna have good snacks.’  And then right next to it in the next frame is a big wardrobe case.  You can see a Tony shoe and some random clothes like his suit jacket and red shirt.  This asshole brought snacks and a freaking wardrobe.  I love him.

I bet Pepper packed it for him while he was studying to become an expert in thermonuclear dynamics, “Now honey. I packed you some food, extra clothes and your toothbrush. It’s your first day at SHEILD. Play nice with all the other kids, alright?”

And Tony’s like “MMMMM, I’ll think about it after I hack into everything.”

Pepper then sighs, “Well. Call me if you need anything”

Later:

… ;A;

I would like off this emotional rollercoaster, please.